This Is So Gay
by CrazyHookerProductions
Summary: Cloud attends an all-men's school where he rooms with a gay man. But Cloud is homophobic. Rated M for safety. PAIRINGS: CloudTifa with eventual ZackCloud, WeissNero. More may come.
1. New Roommate

ShiningSugar14 and BriKyo do not condone the idea of homophobia. In fact, ShiningSugar14 is an out-and-proud bisexual. However, we needed Cloud to be a homophobe, like how BriKyo USED TO BE. So no reviews saying how we're homophobes. We're not.

* * *

Dear God, I thought, my roommate looks like a chick.

At least that's what I first assumed when I saw Zack Fair come through the door. It was his hair; I swear to God, he looked like a woman. A very tall, flat chested, woman. Then the obvious fact of, "Duh, Cloud, you go to an all-men's college," stuck in and I realized that, no, this couldn't possibly be a chick.

All that thinking happened in maybe three seconds.

"Hi, I'm Zack Fair. You're new here?" He extended his hand in greeting. I, in complete shock, took it and shook it.

Something about him seemed kinda off though. Besides the disturbingly long hair. That didn't faze me after being friends with Vincent Valentine in high school. It wasn't even the eyes, sparkly blue-violet things that stared at me. His voice, I decided, that had to be it. It was all playful, like Yuffie, only not a woman.

"Uh, I'm Cloud Strife. And, yeah, I'm new. I just transferred. From Kalm Community College. Know it?"  
"Oh, you grew up in Kalm?"

"No, Nibelheim. I moved around a lot."

"Yeah, I get it. That's pretty far from me. Gongaga, y'know?" I knew it. Wondered why we were both in Junon. Probably for different reasons; I just went for the scholarship.

"So, we're roomies?" He grins at me, this Zack Fair. He's got a Cheshire cat grin that half creeps me out and shows all his white teeth. "I call the window bed!" With that, he childishly dives onto the bed and sets his belongings below him as a landing pad. Hope he didn't have anything breakable in there. Not that I really care; The whining would just be irritating.

When I set my stuff down, considerably more carefully than Zack did, he starts up talking. "So, what kind of classes are you taking?"

God… Chatterbox. "Auto-mechanics. There's a delivery service in my family, but I'm not interested."

"Ah, that's cool. I'm going into anthropom… Anthrol… Shit…" He finally slows down and says the word, moving his hand with each syllable. "An… Thro… Po… Lo… Gy. There we go."

Final decision: I think this man is on something. Speed, crack… Something.

* * *

When I go to sit on my bed that night, it falls apart. Honestly. I do not weigh that much and it just… collapsed under me. And I woke up Zack, who had been babbling until almost 11 and had just barely gone under, with the noise.

"Whuh happen'd? They're using the Sexy Beam again?"

For a second, all I can really do is look at him. "Ah, no. My bed died on me." I can practically hear the confused face. He flicked on his light then looks at me, on the bed with my butt sunk into the frame. Then the bastard started laughing.

"Don't laugh. Help me. My center of gravity is stuck quite solidly in the bed frame." So Zack, because he's distinctly NOT a dickhead (unlike Barret and Cid), helped me and surveyed the damage. Then, without a word, dove onto his knees and checked stuff out under the bed.

"Eww," he says, after about a minute. "The wood's all rotted and stuff under here. That's so gross. I think something just waved at me." Zack "waves back" to something imaginary under my bed. Then he sobers up. "Uh… Yeah… You need a bed…" He looks at his twin-sized bed. "Uhm… We… Can… Uh… Share? Maybe?" He blushes. Is he blushing? That's kinda gay… That's really gay… Like, creepy gay… Disturbingly gay… I'm assuming you understand just how gay it was.

"I… Uh…"

"Nevermind, I'll take the floor," Zack says cheerfully enough (It's like, almost midnight. How is he cheerful at almost midnight?).

"Well, I don't want to kick you out of your bed."

"Forget it. I'm good with sleeping on the floor. I've slept on the floor before, it won't kill me."

"No, I'm not stealing your bed."

"You're not 'stealing my bed.' I'm _giving_ it to you."

"No. I'm not taking it. I'll sleep on the floor."

"I can't let you do that." Zack sighs. "Which brings me back to my original suggestion of sharing it."

And that's how I've found myself with another guy's ass touching mine. Creepy.

Lets get one thing straight; I don't like gay people. It's not like I want to attack them and kill them or anything. They just creep me out. I think it's wrong for a man and a man (or a woman and a woman) to be together. So the idea of sharing a bed with something that didn't have boobs was just plain AWKWARD.

But I get through it. Because that's what tough guys like me _do_.

So I start thinking about my girlfriend the whole night. Which probably wasn't the greatest idea. She has the _biggest_ you-know-whats in the world. So I wound up kinda horny… In bed with a guy. AGGGHHH!!

* * *

In class, the next day, I meet my Trigonometry teacher. His name is Weiss and he is CREEPY.

I'm sitting there, trying to balance a pen on my nose, and he comes slamming in. Most of the teachers here are dressed like business men; Suit-jackets, ties, oxfords, etc. This guy comes in wearing the usual stuff. It's just all white. Shirt, jacket, shoes, all of it. He reminds me of this really uptight guy from my high school, Rufus Shinra. They both have a white fetish.

So, anyway, he comes in, sets down his (white) briefcase and writes his name on the whiteboard. "Weiss Sable," he addresses us. "You'll get quite used to calling me Weiss. You will not address me as Mr. Sable, that's either my brother or my father, depending on whether or not Nero is yielding the title to me as well. We don't confer on this."

Someone raises their hand and he looks at them. "Yes, Mister Kasai?"

A red head in front of me stands up, his hair in a ponytail going down his back. "Uh, yeah… I just, uh, wanted to clear this up…"

A black guy next to him tugs on his sleeve. "Reno, sit _down_!"

"I heard a rumor on campus that… uhm… That you and your brother… Nero… Are, ah… How to put this?"

Weiss sighs, sets down the marker he was writing with, and addresses the guy. "The rumor is true, I have no problem confirming it to you, mainly because it has nothing to do with the class curriculum. It's actually none of your business but, yes, Nero and I are lovers."

The guy who asked, Reno, blushes clean up to his scalp. "Uhm… Right… Thanks, sir… I mean, Weiss…"

Oh, ew… My Trig teacher is a homo… An incestuous homo… Oh, gag…

* * *

During lunch, I was wandering aimlessly, trying not to give a damn about anything in particular, when I pick up on a voice saying my name, a very familiar voice. So I follow that particular voice.

As it turns out, the black mass of hair across a hedgerow gives away the fact that, yes, that's Zack's voice I hear. He's talking about me. Without giving much thought to my actions, something that rarely happens, I dive under a bush and listen.

"-Bed completely died on him, the poor guy." He must be on a phone or something because I can't hear what the other person says. "Yes, of course I did." Definitely a phone conversation. "Well, he's blond. You know what they say about blonds, Aeris." He started laughing. "Right, well, I've got Calculus. Uh-huh…" More response. "Okay, I love you. Kay, bye bye."

With that he saunters off to class. Damn, so he was just telling his… girlfriend? Mother? Sister?… About my bed situation. Huh…

"And what are _we_ up to?"

As I scrabble out of the bushes, I feel the back of my shirt rip upwards towards my neck. Stupid thorn bushes. Cursing everything thorny and bushy, I find myself staring up at Reno, the guy who just _had_ to put me off Trig for the rest of my life.

"I'm not doing anything."

"I never said you were, man." Reno grins, almost devilshly, the creep. "See you 'round." And he leaves me with a torn shirt.

* * *

So, there I am in my dorm room, going through all my stuff and who should come in but Zack. "Whoa," he says, then whistles. "What happened to your shirt?"

"I… Uhm…" Well, I was eavesdropping on you earlier and tore my shirt on a bush. Yeah, right. "I fell."

He leans against the doorway and smirks. "You fell?"

"O-Out of a tree. I fell."

"Uh… Huh…" He sighs. "Give it here."

"What?"

Zack digs a sewing kit out of his desk. "Take it off and give it here. I'll patch it up for you." Sewing? That's kinda gay… Nonetheless, I remove my shirt and hand it over to him. He starts patching it up, which amazes me. I've never actually seen anyone sew. The silence starts bugging me.

I go to the basics that we used to ask guys in high school. Granted, I'm a college sophomore, but whatever. I don't know much of anything else. "So… Uh… Got a girlfriend?"

"Nope. I'm single."

That kind of weirds me out. "Not even a crush on a girl."

"Nope. I've got, like, three friends who are girls but I don't want any of them like _that_. It'd be gross."

"Why would it be gross?"

"Oh, no real reason. Mostly just because we've known each other since forever."

"Uh… Right…"

"What about you?" He grins. "Got someone special?"

"Yeah, Tifa. My girlfriend." I take out my wallet and show him the picture I've got of her.

"Oh…" His face falls. It's normal, though. Single guys don't want to be alone and Tifa's beautiful. "Yeah, man. She looks nice. I like how her hair falls." Her hair? Most guys look at her chest… Whatever, maybe he's trying not to be a pervert. Points for him.

"Uh… Are you done with my shirt yet?"

"Nope… Gawd, it's all dirty. You look like you were on your stomach, trying to spy on someone."

"I wasn't!"

"I never said you were."

"That's what Reno said to me earlier."

"Reno Kasai? Yeah, he's kind of a jerk but he's cool once you get to know him."

"Are you friends with him?"

"Ehn… Kinda. We don't really talk anymore but we used to be pretty close, ya know?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I caught him cheating on me so we don't really talk."

"Cheating on… Wait, what?!"

"Uh… Oops…"

"Are you uncomfortable with gay people, Cloud?"

"Uh… Well…"

"'Cause that's the reason I didn't have a roommate." Zack turns back to his sewing with a semi-sad smile. "They all thought I'd rape them in their sleep, so they got out. I've been by myself in a double dorm for almost two years now."

"Uhm… Well… I'm not _un_comfortable with gays. It's just a shock. You seemed so…"

"Non-flaming?"

"Yeah."

"Not all gay guys are flamers. Sure, Reno's brother is, and people mistake Uncle Weiss for one, but it's not like we all have broken wrists and lisps."

"Yeah, I guess that makes se-" Then my brain processes what he just said. "Uncle?"

"Sure. Uncle Weiss. He teaches here. Him and Uncle Nero."

Okay, screw that whole, "It's Your Choice To Be Gay," bullshit. It's gotta be hereditary.

Okay, so lets review. My Trig teacher is gay and my roommate is gay. The difference is that my roommate is less weird because my Trig teacher is in love with his brother. And I slept in the same bed as Zack last ni- HO SHIT!! HE PROBABLY _TOUCHED ME _WITH HIS _GAY PERSON COOTIES!!_

And, because my campus is SO efficient, I have to sleep in the same bed as him AGAIN.

* * *

We're totally continuing this whether we get reviews or not, but reviews make us smile. Especially flames. We laugh then give them to Axel.


	2. Butt Humping

All the reviews said to continue. Full-speed ahead!!

BTW, so that no one gets confused, we're shifting POV's throughout the story. This one is Zack.

* * *

He's so cute, Cloud is. Unfortunately, he's straight. And a homophobe. Ugh… I always fall for the homophobes. Uncle Weiss said I have no one to blame but myself for that but then Nero turns around and says that you can't help whom you fall in love with. Neither morsel of advice is exactly helpful right now.

Why is it not helpful right now, you ask? I'll tell you why: Cloud's humping my butt, that's why. And _**it**_ is pressing on me. I know he's not doing it because of me. He's a homophobe and I'm not delusional. I'm hot, but not _that_ hot (though Aeris tends to disagree). Cloud is dreaming of his girlfriend. I can tell, because he says her name every few minutes.

This shouldn't hurt so badly though. I mean, sure, he's cute, but Reno was cute too. It didn't hurt this much when he broke things off with me way back when. And, because I'm not completely out of touch with my own emotions, I know precisely what's wrong. I love Cloud. But he doesn't like guys. Hell, he's got one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't judge whether or not a woman is pretty) as his girlfriend.

I try scooting away from him but, well, this is a REALLY small bed. Like, they never want you to have sex so they make the beds way too small. I'm seriously on the edge of it here, between a sexy Cloud and a really hard wall. So, that's nothing doing. Next idea would be… waking him up. Yes, before things get even more awkward than they are.

"Cloud…" I try shaking him. "Cloud," I hiss a bit more urgently.

"Nnnnnmmm…"

Shit. Okay… Uh… Well, the only thing I can do now is just wait it out. Pray that it turns to a really weird unsexy dream, like mine tend to.

A really small, yet highly demonic, part of me says to take advantage of him. Touch him. I can't though, because that'd just be wrong. You don't do that to someone, regardless of how soft his hair is or how beautiful his eyes are or how hard his-… No, stopping that train of thought _right_ there!!

"Tifa," he whispers blissfully in my ear. He's making life _wonderful_ when he does that. Shivers run up and down my spine and goosebumps break out all over my legs. It almost makes me think that _I'm_ the one he's having sex with and that's just perfect. "Oh, Tifa… Ahn…" He shatters the illusion with a single name. _Her_ name.

The tears that prick my eyes cannot, under any circumstances, be seen or heard or felt by Cloud.

* * *

I don't feel like getting up the next morning. Hell, I don't ever want to wake up again. I know I'm being five-hundred types of emo, all of which are perfectly justifiable. I can't bring myself to look at him and that's pretty weak of me. Hence, I'm emo.

Cloud's perfectly fine though, minus being embarrassed. The evidence of his embarrassment was in the "Oh shit," he muttered upon waking up this morning. Right now, he's getting dressed and I'm observing the wallpaper pattern next to my bed. It's pretty… Not as pretty as Cloud… Dammit.

"You okay, man?"

"Yeah," I say without looking at him. How can I? "I'm just not feeling all that great. Go to class, I'll be fine. In fact, I'll get up soon. Just not right now." I'm pretty good at acting happy and cute and everything, but I can't force any of that into my speech for him. Is that because I want to be real with him or because I don't have the energy to be all peppy? Blah…

So, he leaves and I grope around for my phone. I need to call Aeris. It's only 9-ish. She's probably working in her botany class, but I'll leave her a message for later.

"Hello, this is Aeris Gainborough. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can. Bye."

Beep!

"Hey, Aeris. It's Zack. Uhm… Could you… Call me back… After 2, if you can? Things… Aren't so good and I could… really… use… your voice… Okay? Bye."

I don't even have a class until noon. Even then, it's Uncle Nero's class, which is good. It means I can chill with him and get some much-needed help. Granted, Weiss gives me more sensible advice, stuff I should have listened to in high school, but Nero is more sympathetic.

So, off to his and Weiss' apartment I traipse. It's not very far, only a couple blocks from the dorms. Before I know it, I'm ringing their buzzer.

"What?!"

"Uncle Weiss, it's me. Zack."

"Oh… I thought you were one of those Jenova's Witnesses."

"You mean Jehovah's Witnesses?"

"No, I mean Jenova's Witnesses. Either way, come on up." The little latch unclicks. I ascend the stairs, go a few doors down and there's the door. There's a little sign on it: "If you throw an object at the professors, please be prepared to retrieve it." They're not very sociable.

When I open the door, Nero's drinking tea at their dinette table and Weiss is making what appear to be cinnamon buns. The issue is that Weiss is wearing a frilly apron. It's white, everything of his is, but still… It's frilly. Even I'm not that gay.

"Zack," Nero's eyes light up. "Come, sit." He gestures to the chair across from him, the only other chair at the table. "What's the matter? You look depressed."

"Big surprise. I've got… this thing… for a guy." Weiss snorts. Nero shoots him a glare but motions for me to continue. "He's… Not gay… He's homophobic, actually."

"Oh…"

"Yeah… And… Well, his bed fell apart two nights ago… So we've…" I start fidgeting in my chair. "We've been sharing…"

"So long as you didn't ejaculate inside, the police have no evidence that you've raped him." Weiss says all of that very matter-of-factly, like he's talking about the weather.

"What!?"

"Well, that's what you did, isn't it?"

"No! Gawd, Uncle Weiss." He chuckles and I continue. "_Anyways_, he was having a… uh… A wet dream about his girlfriend last night and he… uhm… was…" Choking on air, I can barely say the next part. "He was humping my butt." Weiss pours scalding hot icing on himself and Nero chokes on his tea. Then Weiss starts laughing; Not at the pain, at me.

"Weiss! Shut up!" Nero pushes him. "Weiss!"

"I'm sorry, but…" He starts outright cackling. "Honestly, Nero… That's funny."

"Not. When it's happening. To Zack."

"Right. Okay. I'm sorry, Zack."

"S'okay. If someone wasn't laughing at it, I'd have to die."

"And what?" Nero laces his fingers and rests his chin on them. "What do you want from the boy? Tears? Restraining order? I can give you one of my straight jackets, so you can do him without him struggling."

"No! None of the above." Weiss puts a cup of juice in front of me. "I just… want him… to love me… I think."

"Reasonable," Nero purrs. "But, at the same time, not so much. I'm not the Ursula in The Little Mermaid, Zack. I can't make you into a woman for him to love."

"I don't want to be a girl. I just want him…"

"In bed," Weiss finishes. Nero shoots him a glare but, since he's half-right, I don't push it. "You want my opinion? Give it up. If he's a homophobe, the most you can hope for is a friend."

"Or…" Nero gets a very scary look. "Or, you could make him fall in love with you."

"Small problem with that: He's not like that."

"Zack, go into the living room and look under the couch."

I blink. "What?"

"Your self-esteem might be under there." Nero shakes his head. "Honestly. You're an appealing boy. Go get him"

"Nero, he's straight. He wouldn't want me anyw-"

"Who is it?" Weiss interrupts.

"Uhm… Cloud. Cloud Strife."

Weiss nods, looking thoughtful. "Oh, right. Yes… I'll talk to him about that."

"Talk?! To him!? No, Uncle Weiss, please, I'm begging you!"

"Come, Zack," Nero puts his mug in the sink and drags me up by my arm. "You have my class to get to and it's easier if you come along with me."

"Okay…" As I get up, I just have to ask again. "Two things: Number one, pretty please don't talk to him."

"No way."

"Number two, Jenova's witnesses?"

"Yes," Weiss nods gravely.

* * *

On the streets, Nero keeps talking to me. And I'm grateful for it. I shouldn't be left alone to my thoughts for too long like this.

"So, Zack, would you like my advice on this matter as well, or are you satisfied with Weiss' answer?" He's smirking, like all this is some kind of a joke. It's not a joke, but looking at it from a light-hearted point of view is probably a lot less suicide-inducing.

"Weiss is right, and I know it, but your answer will make me feel better."

"Alright…" He tilts his head back, like he's getting an answer from the wind. "You said Cloud had a girlfriend, right?" I nod. "Zack, do you recall the story of Hades and Persephone?"

"… From Ancient Euro History class?"

"Correct."

"Yeah, I remember it."

"Play it through your mind a few times, I'm certain it will sink in."

Hades and Persephone, for those who weren't quizzed over it fifty-million times like I was, is about the Lord of Hell taking a wife out of the flowers. There was a lot of story with Demeter, Persephone's mom, and how much she _didn't_ want her daughter to marry Hades and, apparently that's how we get our seasons. But there's no mother involved with this story… Unless he means the girlfriend. Wait… Wait… It's starting to sink in.

"You mean that I should just be happy with the amount of time that I'm given?"

"Good boy, Zack." Good advice, but not really what I was hoping for. I was more or less hoping for a, "He's only repressing it," sort of message.

Nero pats me on the head, like I'm either a puppy or a five-year old. We're in the university territory now, so people are giving Nero funny looks. I have no idea why thought. All consensual adult relationships, regardless of race or gender or familial ties, were deemed legal last year.

"Nero, does it bug you that people the relationship between you and Weiss is sort of… ya know?"

"Not as much as it used to."

* * *

"Zack, I just got your call," Aeris' voice sails through my phone at exactly 2:01 while I'm walking back to my dorm to go be emo some more. I think she was seriously waiting for the opportunity to call me. That's Aeris, though. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, it's just… Cloud."

"Oh, what happened?"

Shit, I'm in public. I can't exactly say it outloud. Cloud Strife was humping my ass. That would go over well. "He… uhm…" So I relay the butt-humping story to her in hushed tones. Every time I say it to someone, it sounds even more like a badly written Harlequinn novel.

At first, I think that she's sympathizing with me, which is something I could really use right now. "Oh wow…" Then she bursts into giggles and I start pouting. So much for sympathy. "I'm sorry for laughing, Zack, it's just, well..."

"No, I get it, it's actually hilarious. Nero and Weiss even think so. It'd be so much funnier if I weren't madly in love with him."

"You already feel that strongly towards him?"

"Yeah…"

There's a silence. "Tell you what, I'll bring over your favorite movie and we can watch it together at your dorm, okay?"

"Alright… Thanks."

"Uh-huh. I'll be over in twenty minutes, I just have to borrow Mom's car, alright? Which room is it?"

"It's in the house with the big Mog on the front lawn. I'll wait for you outside." Aeris is coming over with my favorite movie, I think, as I hang up and stroll back to my room. Everything is going to be fine.

Then I walk in on Cloud taking off his shirt and realize, No, nothing is okay.


	3. Thunder

Sooo, we withheld this chapter until we got some reviews. And we kind of left it on a backburner for a while.  
Anyways, enjoy it.

* * *

"Where ya goin'?" He says as he walks through the door. Normally, I'd respond quickly and continue about my business, but I'm kinda shirtless in front of a gay guy.

"Uhm… Date. My girlfriend."

"Oh…" Zack kinda strolls in and flumps down on his bed. He must still be sick from earlier. Wonder what's wrong with him? Wonder if its contagious? Oh, God, what if he has AIDS? No, they wouldn't put someone with AIDS around healthy people… Would they?

Can't worry about him right now. That's pretty heartless, but it's none of my business and he said he was fine. Gotta get ready and get going; Tifa will be pissed if I'm late… Again. For, like, the ninth time since we've been dating.

"You going somewhere fancy?" He's probably talking about the fact that I look like I'm going to a black-tie auction or something. Black pants, white button-up, polished shoes: The name's Bond. Cloud Bond.

"Not really. Tifa just likes me to get dressed up for dates, is all."

"Ah…" Zack's kind of weirding me out. He's all curled up on the side of the bed closest to the wall. He looks like me when I was all emo in high school. That was before I met Tifa and Cid and people.

Ugh, if I don't ask, I'm gonna feel like a bastard. I lean over him with my jacket over my shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Alright, as long as you're sure."

I'll spare you the details of my date; Mostly because it wasn't such a good date. Tifa said I wasn't as focused on her as I should be. I honestly don't know where my head was but I know it wasn't with her. Dammit.

I know where it was. It was in my dorm room, wondering if Zack had died or something just yet. But I'm not worrying in a gay way; I'm worrying in a friendly way. I'll be friends with him, if he manages to worm his way into a friendship, but I don't want to be his boyfriend.

When I get back, I hear giggling. Female giggling. So, I knock on the door. Like, maybe I walked into the wrong dorm.

A girl opens the door. I'm at an all-men's school, in the _dorms_, and a girl opens the door. Not as busty as Tifa but still pretty and a billion times more feminine. Screw Tifa, I'm getting laid tonight!

"Oh… You must be… Zack's roommate… Cloud, right?" She's even hotter when she's confused.

"Uhm, yeah…"

"Nice to meet you. I'm Aeris Gainborough, Zack's friend." She sticks her hand out to shake. I'm nowhere near as suave as Vincent, who would probably kiss her hand at this point, so I just shake like the puppy dog I probably look like.

"I'm… Cloud Strife. His roommate."

She smiles. Great smile. Zack didn't fall for her? Or maybe he did, she rejected him and he still wants to be friends…

So I trail this Aeris into my own room. Zack is laying on his bed (I refuse to say "our bed"), eating what look like chocolate-covered potato chips. No wonder he's sick, if he's eating that. "Welcome back. How'd your date go?"

I might bare some fangs. "Nothing. How've you been?"

"Pretty well. Aeris came over and we've been watching Two Weeks Notice."

A chick flick? That's a chick flick. "Cool."

"It's awesome. Almost over though."

I observe the random lovey dovey on the screen. "Adorable."

"Isn't it?" Aeris practically swoons. Which one of these two actually elected this drivel as a movie?

So I sit on the floor and watch a bit more. It gets really old really fast. Don't get me wrong; Tifa likes this, so I watch them, but they're nowhere near my first choice. Then the movie ends. Zack stretches, gets up and gives Aeris a hug. Hands nowhere near her butt. "Thanks, Aeris. This was good."

"I'm glad," she says, cuddling him. I wonder if it was Zack who had the crush on her or vice versa?

She leaves without crying anyways, leaving me with Zack and a box of PMS killers (as Tifa calls chocolate-covered potato chips). "So, uh…"

"You ready to turn in?" He says quickly. Is he, like, eager to go to sleep? Oh shit… Nu-uh, man…

"Not quite."

"So, really, how'd your date go?"

"It sucked. Tifa thought my mind was somewhere else."

He pouts and stashes the chips in his desk. "Was it?"

"Kinda… I was mostly wondering if you… were… okay…" Am I blushing? AGH! Gay!!

Zack doesn't take it that way, thank God. He just kinda smiles. "Thanks, man, but you shouldn't get your girlfriend mad at you because of me."

"Yeah… You're right…"

"Call her," he says as I'm digging my cell-phone out. Read my mind, why don't you?

She picks up on the third ring. It's a tactic that I've seen her use on other people to make them worry. Like, if she's pissed at Yuffie, she'll do that to make Yuffie sweat. Mean, but highly effective. "Hello?"

"Hey, Tifa."

"Hey," she says, still sounding kinda pissed.

"Listen, about tonight, I'm sorry."

"You should be." I cringe. She's not pissed; She's downright bitchy. Then she warms up like spring. "I'm sorry too, though."

"It's alright. My bad anyways." Zack cuddles into bed. Looks like he's going to sleep.

So, Tifa and I chat for a bit longer, about half an hour, until we say our goodbyes and I'm faced with Zack's back. His asleep back. I've avoided another night of rape. Huzzah!

* * *

In Trig, Weiss calls me over to his desk after class.

"Yes, professor?"

"It's Weiss."

"Yes, p-Weiss?"

"Listen, as you can probably imagine, I'm not a nice person. At all. Honestly." And I believe him. Weiss is scary. I heard that, a few days ago, some Jenova's Witnesses went to his apartment and they still aren't speaking in clear English.

"Um, okay… Sir…"

"So, you could imagine, that the few people I do like, I like them immensely. Nero, for example." I nod, because this makes sense. "But also my nephew, the one family member who hasn't estranged us." I raise my eyebrow, but keep nodding.

"That's… good, sir. I'm happy that you have family."

"Everyone has family, Strife, some just have family who like them. Now, pay attention; You know my nephew well enough and you haven't abandoned him yet. Which is good. I would have been far stricter with you if you hadn't. Advanced Trigonometry would have become your personal hell."

More nodding. I feel like a bobble-head.

"So, this is what I want you to do. If you do this, my class will only be a purgatory, rather than a hell. My nephew, I need you to be gentle with him. He's going through a hard time right now. Talk to him. You don't have to be his friend if you don't wish to, I understand that you can't force these things, but be someone he can talk to."

"Well, who's your nephew?" I try to think about who this whack job's nephew could be. Probably someone crazy, like Cid, or someone just plain creepy, like Kadaj.

"Your roommate. Zack Fair. My dearest nephew. I'll call him what I like."

When Weiss says that, I get this interesting sinking feeling in my guts. I have to talk about _feelings_ with a gay guy. And… Am I _alone_ in this classroom with Weiss!? Oh shit…

"Sure… Uhm… Yeah… I can do that."

"Glad to hear it." GAWD, Weiss is creepy when he smiles.

Talking to Zack about how he feels. You may as well ask me to inform Tifa that she should get a breast reduction; It's a good thought and it's meant to be taken in the entirely right way, but it has a high potential to be taken horribly, _horribly_ wrong.

When I get about half way to the dorms it starts raining. Looks like the thunderstorm I heard about is going to happen. When I was younger, my brother Roxas and I would make hot chocolate and watch the lightening. Then he kind of turned into a bastard and I didn't exactly do anything different.

Still, hot chocolate sounds good. So I stop by a convenience store and pick up some of the powdered stuff and some milk. My plan is to warm some milk in the microwave, add the cocoa, curl up on Zack's bed and zone out. If Zack is on his bed, I'll take the desk. My textbooks make wonderful pillows.

When I do get to my dorm, Zack is nowhere to be found though. So I rev up the microwave and turn off the lights. The sky lights up and there's a crash, a boom… and a whimper? "Zack?"

A really small voice answers from under the bed, "Yeah?"

"Zack what are you doing under there?"

"Uhm…" He belly-crawls out. "I was hiding…"

"From the storm?"

"Yeah… They just scare me, is all. I'm fine though."

Weiss' words kind of smack me in the face around there and I wind up saying four words that I knew I'd regret later. "Want some hot chocolate?"

His eyes light up. Gawd, they're blue. Like mine, only lighter. Prettier. Whoa... Wait... Prettier? No. Not pretty. Cool. His eyes are cool, because the color is really deep and they kind of suck you in and... I'm staring. At him. Not good. I avert my eyes and grab an extra mug. Zack sits up on the bed... In his PJ's, with his knees bent in front of him, clutching a pillow like a teddy bear.

"So... Uhm... I... Met any... Uhm... Shit... Guys?"

He smiles, lightly, but keeps an eye on the window. "Yeah. One guy I'm actually interested in."

That relieves me. If he had a crush on me, he wouldn't have said anything. "Yeah? Uhm... Well, if you wanna talk about him... Go ahead. I'm not exactly sure how to ask about guys..."

"Same way you ask about girls," Zack chirps, until a thunder rumble shuts off the happy. "Just switch some pronouns and don't ask about boobs, really."

"Then... I ask about... ya know...?"

"No, I haven't done it with him, yet. He's not into me." Then Zack sighs and clings to the pillow harder. Makes me wonder what he does with that thing. Ew. I stir in the chocolate powder.

"Why not?"

With his entire body to the wall, he lifts up one arm and ticks off the reasons. "Number one, he's a homophobe. Number two, he's taken. Number three, even if he were gay and single, there's no way I could hook him. I'm not cute enough."

How the hell do I respond to that? If I tell him he's cute, he'll take it the wrong way. If I don't say anything, I'll look like a real asshole. "He probably disagrees."

"Homophobe, Cloud. Homophobe was the biggest part of that list."

"Ehn... He's probably in denial... Or shy..." I hand Zack his mug and sit, not curl up, next to him. Even though it looks like I curled up, I only sat down and put my feet up. I'm not curled.

"Might be. I doubt it, but thanks for trying to make me feel better." He sips at the hot cocoa, looking like his about ten.

"No problem." I sip at mine too. It's hot. Like, burn the roof of my mouth kind of hot. Zack's probably is too. Thank God no lightening or whatever jolts him and makes him spill it. There's a nice long silence. "So... Uh... What's he like?"

Zack's eyes light up like it's Christmas. "He's perfect, Cloud. He's smart, and cute, and sweet and he's got the tightest butt... Ooops... Uhm..." Zack blushes. Looks like a girl there. "TMI, much?"

"Just a little. Leave out the ass comments."

"Sorry man."

Zack sets down the cocoa. "He's perfect. I just wish he wasn't… ya know… so…"

"Unavailable?"

"Close enough." I set down mine too. Oh, God, what if I drink his and I catch his gay? No, that doesn't happen, I reassure myself. Can't be too sure though, so I turn my handle opposite the way his is. Still a homophobe, but I'm trying to deal.

Wait, Zack said his crush was a homophobe. Does he…? Can't be. He'd probably try to rape me in my sleep if that was the case.

"He's still really awesome, though. He's perfect. Absolutely perfect! Thing is, he'd never get that I have a thing for him. Even if I dropped the hints and everything. He's kinda stupid like that."

Thunder crash-booms the dorm and Zack clings to me, like a scared kitten or a teenage girl clutching her boyfriend during the scary part of the movie. That last simile drags the moment out. He's a gay guy. He's clasping onto my shoulders like the world's about to end. I'm not gay.

This is, though. This is so gay.

* * *

Ahahaha, poor Cloud. Zack-poo, too. But we're making Cloud sweat.


	4. Perfect

Thanks for the reviews, guys. SS would like to send a special "OMG THANK YOU!!" out to Cha-Fujimura for loving the random Weiss-in-an-apron moment.

* * *

Oh my God… Oh. My. God. I'm clinging onto Cloud's shoulders. Like, _Cloud's_ shoulders! As in, Cloud Strife, my super smexy, highly homophobic roommate. Who has a girlfriend. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He kinda stiffens when I do that, so I think he realized the same thing that I did. So I let go. It's not my fault, though. Thunder's scary.

So we let go and go to bed. Very anticlimactic after that. He doesn't sleep-rape me again. Much though I wanted him to. I half considered stroking him in his sleep but I've got a conscience (that looks a lot like Weiss and Nero as the devil and angel, respectively).

The conversation goes a little like this.

"I wanna touch Cloud inappropriately."

Nero-angel goes, "Don't you dare!"

Weiss-devil hisses, "C'mon. You _know_ you want to. And he's been so stressed lately, or so he's said."

Me, a victim of lust and sleepiness, "Well… Yeah…"

"Zack Fair, don't you dare touch that boy! That's not the way to win his love!"

Weiss-devil gives Nero-angel this loaded look, like, "Who's looking to win his _love_?"

Nero-angel is right though, I don't want Cloud to hate me, which he would if he caught me jerking him off. So, instead of touching him (or myself, which would have been preferred), I try to shut it off by imagining my conscience having sex with itself.

Works. I've never wanted to see Weiss naked. Like, ever. Ew…

* * *

"My girlfriend's coming over this weekend."

I look up from the textbook in front of me. "Really?"

"Yeah… So, you like you could maybe… Uh… I dunno… Not… Uhm…?"

I can hear it. He wants me to fake normal for her. I can do that. I had to do that for years and years until I left my parents' house. Then, like, five minutes before I left, I said, "Oh, by the way, you remember Genesis from two houses down? Yeah, you remember how he came over so much? There's a good reason for that. We were lovers. I'm gay."

I had meant for it to be dramatic. But my mother just turned to my father and said, "You owe me five bucks." So I guess I was obvious. But I can still fake straight for Cloud.

"Sure, alright. I'll turn down the gay a little."

He gives me this look like I just told him that monkeys create the spikes in my hair for me daily. "What are you talking about? I was going to ask you not to mention that we're sleeping in the same bed."

Oh. Of course. "Yeah, I can do that too."

"Cool." And then he goes back to cleaning his side of the room. (Translation: Shoving his dirty clothes, papers and other detritus under his bed). Which gave me a perfect view of his ass. Which only calls up memories of last night… And two nights before that.

In a complete spazz move, I slam my hand in my desk drawer. As I suck on the damaged skin, Cloud just rolls his eyes and says, "Smooth."

* * *

Cloud's girlfriend is pretty in a porn star way. She's got brown hair, down to her mid-back, big brown doe eyes and humungous boobs. I'm sorry, I usually don't talk about girl-chest (unless Aeris wants to discuss hers), but that's her most prominent feature.

I learn, in addition to her name and face, that Tifa is a waitress at the café less than 2 blocks away from the school, she has a younger sister named Marlene and she wants to be a barmaid when she graduates from Saint Jenova's Academy for Young Women. Whatever floats her boat, I guess.

I also learn that Cloud hadn't really said much about me.

"You're Cloudy's roommate then?" Any man, gay or straight, would have blinked a little in disturbance about that nickname. Cloud just puts his dirties in the hamper (Tifa found them).

"'Fraid so…"

"Sorry if he's been a pain in the butt for you in anyway."

Butt-humping!! SHIT!! "Not really. We've been okay."

"Okay…" Tifa sits at Cloud's desk. Cloud himself is still puttering around the room. Psycho. Sit down.

"So… How long have you two been together?"

"Oh… Forever. Since junior year, I think, right, Cloud?"

Cloud will make an excellent husband for this woman. Why, you ask? He has the Yes-Dear face and tone already perfected. "Right."

We lapse into a kind of uncomfortable silence. Then Tifa asks The Question: "Do you have a girlfriend?" Cloud stubs his toe on his broken bed frame and swears.

"Uhm… Well… Uh…"

"He's gay, Tifa." Cloud sits on our bed. (I squeal every time I think about the fact that he and I share a bed, even if it is platonically).

"Oh…" Then I get to thinking that if Cloud is homophobic, maybe she is too. Maybe they met at a Jenova Youth Meeting or something. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Do you think my hair is okay? I mean, like, in general?"

Ell oh ell, what? "Uhm… Looks good to me. Long hair always looks good on girls."

"Really? 'Cause I've been thinking it's a little too dry. Do you think it's too dry?"

"N-Not at all." Is she using me as straight women usually use gay men? Okay, so Cloud's probably-crazy girlfriend accepts me. Sweet. Mega super awesome.

* * *

I've got classes, thank god. Would you want to stick around while they give each other looks like, "I wanna make out with you so bad right now! OM NOM NOM!" and you're all gay for the boy? Exactly.

I'm not in a course with either of my uncles, which would be better. I could ask for help on what to do when the girlfriend of the guy I want shows up and seems really cool, I don't want to mess with her or anything but I still want the guy.

After the class lets out, I try to be Weiss and Nero for myself. Worst idea ever. It didn't work that well. So, I'll just skip my misadventures and go to the part where I got into Weiss and Nero's apartment.

"She's perfect," I announce, slamming the door and doing a face plant onto their couch. Nero puts down his book.

"Who's perfect?"

"_She's_ perfect."

Weiss looks at me funny. "Are you going straight on us?"

"No. Cloud's girlfriend is perfect. I mean, gawd, she's popular, she's pretty." I sigh and grab a throw pillow. "In other words, she's perfect and he loves her, he doesn't love me, he never will… Ugh…"

Nero pets me. Weiss cackles. "You sound like a twelve year old girl." I glare and he throws up his hands. "Well, you do. If you want my honest advice-"

"Which no one did, by the way," Nero quips.

Weiss nails him (with his eyes, people). "Just tell the boy already. He'll find out eventually. Best to get it over with."

"But he'll hate me, Weiss." I cling to the pillow; it's the color of Cloud's eyes, much to my sadness. "I don't want him to hate me."

"Well, what do you want happening?"

"Cloud and I get married, adopt two children and live happily ever after on a Chocobo farm. With a dog. "

They both kind of blink at me. "Okay, realistic ideal situation."

"Uhm… Cloud never finds out and I graduate without him hating me."

Weiss and Nero look at each other. "Not happening," they say in unison. I throw the pillow at them. Those pillows are called throw pillows just because they're so easy to throw at evil conniving uncles who enjoy making me cry.

"You guys are dickweeds!"

* * *

I left Weiss and Nero's feeling more horrible than I did. Oh well, Aeris will be nicer, I suppose. If I ever tell her about this travesty of a romance, which I will eventually.

When I come back, Cloud's pacing and Tifa's gone. He looks kind of… Panicked? Maybe? I don't know. Scared sounds a bit better.

"Cloud? What's up? Is there something wrong?"

He looks at me. He looks like hell. "Y-You… You… All this time…"

"Cloud. Cloud, look at me. What's wrong?"

"You've been queer for me." Those words sting. I'm not talking, like, a little bee sting. I'm talking a thousand hornets concentrating all their efforts onto one point in my chest. "You've been homo for me, this whole time, I never knew…"

"Cloud…"

"I'll bet you've even been feeling me up while I was sleeping! You probably raped me! You sick freak!"

"Cloud! No! Listen to me, I would never…" I try to reason with him, walking towards him. Big mistake.

"Don't fucking touch me! I'm getting a new room mate, that's it!"

"Cloud, don't do this…"

"Good bye, Zack Fair. I hope you burn in hell."

Then he slams the door. I feel completely numb inside as I pull out my cell phone and hit speed dial.

"Aeris… Could you come over? He just… He told me that he's gonna get a new roommate. He hates me. Could you just come over? Please?"

"Sure," She says. "Just wait a sec. I need to make a quick phone call."

* * *

Several miles away, Aeris Gainsborough called up the Junon University Housing Advisor. "Hello, this is Aeris Gainsborough. Do you know the boy in dorm 110? … Yes, I know you probably hear about him a lot. Listen to me; if I pay you 200 gil, would you mind telling Cloud Strife he can't switch rooms? … Thank you very much." She hung up the phone.

Ouch... Cloud... Bad words, man... As BK is saying into my ears, "Bad form, bad bad bad..." In blatant plagarism of archy the cockroach's gin & sin. GO READ IT!!


	5. I'm Sorry

We're getting pretty close to the end, so we just wanted to thank everyone who's been reading so far. We also apologize for the late update; BriKyo lost her internetz and, strictly by tradition, we write everything here. BTW, I know this is really short, but there's a bit at the end (not spoiling it up here) that we hope will make up for it.

* * *

I didn't even think about what I was going to do about my stuff, still in Zack's room. I just know that I had to get out of there. I mean, come on, he's gay. He _wanted_ me. Tifa is the one who picked up on it, but I guess she thought I was cool with it. As if I'd _ever_ be cool with something like that.

"So," she had said, two hours ago, "You've finally gotten over your little homophobe thing, huh?"

"What?"

"Well," Tifa twirled her hair around her finger while she spoke. "He's completely in love with you, can't you tell?"

"_What?_"

"Yyyyyeaahhh…. I mean, I could just tell. He stares at your ass and everything." She giggled. _Giggled_. Not the reaction I was expecting from a girl whose boyfriend is being checked out by, are you ready, another guy! "It was kinda cute, actually."

"Cute? … _Cute_? Tifa, I've been sleeping in the same bed as that guy for, like, a week!!" That just made her giggle harder, so I tried a different tactic. "Doesn't it annoy you or make you jealous? That a guy wants me in bed?"

"Uhm… Well, that's half the reason I came to visit you…" Tifa fiddled with her straw. "Cloud… Uh… Look, this is really hard on me and I know it's not going to be any easier on you, so lets just get it over with. I really love you, you know that, but only as a friend. We were just friends first, and that was comfortable. Plus, in this place, we'd almost never be able to see each other. It's not the distance, Cloud, I could work through that, but we can't just see each other on the weekend and that's it. Basically, I want to break up."

I sat there for what felt like ten years but was probably about five seconds. Completely shell-shocked. "O-Oh…"

"I'm really sorry, Cloud."

So, my world is basically falling down around me. My girlfriend dumped me, Zack's in love with me… The only thing missing is the college saying, "Oh, your financial aid never went through. You're in debt for the rest of your miserable shit-sucking life." But I'm taking control. I refuse to pull a Vincent and be all emo over my last girlfriend, being rejected by Berkeley, et cetera.

"I want a new room mate."

The guy at the front desk, Tseng, looks up from his magazine then starts typing at the computer. "Name?"

"Cloud Strife."

"No can do. I've got orders not to let you change your room."

At first, I thought I misheard him, this strange man from Wutai U. "What?"

"You are not allowed to switch your room. I'm sorry."

"N-No. I have to switch my room. I _need_ to switch."

"Mr. Strife, you are not able to switch your room at this time. I'm sorry."

I shake my head. "No, I don't think you understand. I have to switch. I can't go back there. I mean, I just…"

"Told Zack Fair to go burn in hell." Before I can speak, Tseng has his magazine down and he's looking me in the eye. "Two reasons I know: Number one, the entire floor heard you. Number two, everyone who's roomed with him has already said that, if not something worse."

"A-Ah…" That kind of knocks me off my pegs a bit. "Then… What do I…?"

"Go back. Apologize for yelling at him. I'll see what I can do in the mean time. Good night." So I go back to my room, mentally drafting my apology speech, and Tseng goes back to his magazine.

(Unbeknowst to me at the time, Tseng was smiling pretty damn brightly behind that magazine. Aeris told me later.)

* * *

When I get back, Zack is on his side, facing the wall. "Z-Zack…" Between Tseng and right now, I seem to have developed some kind of laryngitis. Great…

"What?" Zack heaves a sigh.

"I… Uhm… Wanted… To apologize… For yelling at you." He doesn't move. "My opinion's no different; I still think you're sick. I just regret yelling at you. Uhm… And I… Am still living here. They can't move me."

I wait for him to blackmail me for sex. Instead, he just raises his arm and flops in the general direction of the other wall. "Your bed came in. It's over there." I look. It is over there. They probably delivered it while I was out, bitching at Tseng.

"Uh… Thanks…"

"Uh-huh…"

After I fall asleep, I find myself staring at the clock that reads 2 AM. Thing is, I went to sleep around 10. Something just doesn't feel right. I don't know what; I'm not overly warm or cold, my pulse rate is normal, Zack is already asleep… Wait… Shit, that's what's wrong. He's gotten me used to sleeping with a warm body next to me. Zack is pretty warm too. Like, solid kind of warm, not all squishy-soft warm like Tifa used to be. Shit… I need to sleep.

I have a test tomorrow. Weiss will fail me for sure if I don't sleep at all. I've got maybe 6 hours if I go to sleep the second my head hits the pillow… On Zack's side of the room. Ugh, I can't _believe_ I'm about to do this.

Quietly, quieter than most mice, I pad across the room with my pillow. He sleeps pretty close to the wall (making me wonder if he's not already used to sleeping with someone on the other side of the bed. Urk… Gay sex… I just threw up in my mouth a little.) So, it's relatively easy for me to just slip right in where I was.

Amazingly, I sleep like a freaking bomb.

* * *

Slick warm pleasure, coupled with thorny kind of pains down there, is coursing through me when I wake up. I have to choke back a moan before I open my eyes. It's about ten minutes before I even had to get up. Good enough.

I've got a hard-on though, and Zack is conspicuously absent. Oh, God, he didn't… I mean, he wouldn't have.

"Morning, Cloud," Zack breezes back through the door as I'm sitting up.

"Uh… Hi…" 'Cause, lets face it, I don't want him. He might get the wrong idea.

He's buttoning up a black shirt, which really brings out his eyes and gives me the worst thoughts, until I realize that he was probably taking a shower. Practically unconsciously, I start thinking about that. Him taking a shower, that is. I know, through seeing his arms a couple times, that those are well-defined. I'm talking pythons. Wonder if his chest is too, his abs… His legs…

Fuck!!! I throw off the covers and start hitting myself down there. "Go to sleep!" Jab. "Go to sleep!" Jab.

"You… uh.. You feeling okay?" I look up at him. He's staring at me like I just turned into a Chocobo. I never noticed but he's got puppy eyes… Ffffffuuuuccckkkk….

"Y…Yeah… I just… Have an OCD kind of ritual. I have to… beat the morning wood…" My face flushes at even _talking_ about hard-ons in this situation. Then I realize what I just said. God… "Oh… Th-That came out wrong."

"No, I get it. You have to beat yourself up. Not your… ah…"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Well, uhm… You… You do that…" He thumbs at the door. "I've got class. I'll see you in a while."

"Cool," I squeak. The door shuts and I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding. I have to take care of this before Weiss' class. Like, now.

Carefully, like it's last night and I'm scared of someone hearing me, I crawl back over to my bed and lay on my side. My fingers trail along the length of my dick before I grab onto it, gently. Not too hard, just enough to feel it. While I stroke myself, my finger wanders up to play with the moist head.

I huff, gently, sotp teasing myself, and fucking_ move_. Color and lights start exploding before my eyes. I hiss and shake and move my hips viciously against an imaginary lover until cum spills out across my fingers.

As I wipe the stuff on my sheets and start running over what I'm being tested on today, I shake my head. For God's sake, I was picturing Zack for that whole thing.


	6. ChocoCloud

Hey guys, we're considering writing a RenoxZack backstory for that relationship. Yes, no, get-on-with-the-fic?

* * *

I push through the door to see Weiss and Nero sitting at the table drinking coffee and blurt, "So, he leaves, breaks my heart, then twenty minutes later, he comes back. The next morning, I wake up with him in my bed and he doesn't say much of anything for the rest of the night. I mean, what the hell?!"

Nero abandons his mug to hug me and Weiss tries to translate Distressed Zack Fair. "Wait... What? Say the first part to the last part in more than one breath."

"That Cloud boy is breaking my poor nephew's heart."

I shake my head while Weiss pours coffee. I hate coffee but I need it right now. "Not really 'breaking.' More like broke then put it back together with really crappy glue and tape. I'm confused."

Weiss twirls a bit of his hair around his finger while speaking. "Want me to fail him? He always gets in at the last minute, so I can start class early… Then I'll take that Greek test Rosso is making her students take and give that to him instead and…"

"No!" Gawd… "I don't want him to hate me, remember?"

"He won't hate you. He'll hate me. I don't care if Strife the Lonesome Chocobo hates me."

My entire family always said that Weiss became a college professor to torment people and I never really believed it until just now. "No… Don't mess with him. Pleeeease?"

Weiss sighs. "Fine. You were just here to vent then?"

"And get some breakfast."

As Nero finds a muffin or something, Weiss says, "Zack Fair can deal with his Zack Fair problems. Me and Nero will dance the disco and await your return."

"I don't like disco," Nero complains.

Weiss smirks and sings in his baritone-way, "Do you love me?" Nero's eyes shoot out of his head.

"Not with Zack-"

"Are you playing those love gaaaames... With me?"

"Weiss!!"

Blinking slowly and choking on my thanks to Nero, I grab my bag and all but run out of the apartment.

* * *

My day sucks, but I trudge home instead of jumping off the roof of the English building. It's getting darker, so I can't see my surroundings and all is quiet until an arm grabs my waist and steers me along with it.

"AGH!"

"Be quiet, if you want it to feel good, baby."

I know that voice. That You-Love-To-Hate-Me voice. "Reno!"

He grins and spins to walk alongside me. "'Sup, Zack? Going home to that guy who hates you?"

I hold my head in my hands. "Who told you about that?"

"I heard Cloudy-Cloud bitching about his roommate to some guy in our class. We're in the same Trig class." Reno actually looks at me. "You've got The Pout. The Pout either means, 'Reno, you've done something irreparable and retarded,' or, 'Reno, I've had a bad day so take your ADD meds.'

"Both, considering you just gave me a frickin' heart attack and I've had a REALLY shitty day."

"Want to go to The Place?"

"Yeeeesssss," I whine before letting Reno lead me.

The Place is actually this old dining establishment that's been here since the freaking Stone Age. The waitresses there know me (and Reno) by name and also know The Pout.

Cissnei watches us come in. "Usual?"

Reno gives her a little salute with his fingers as we go to a booth in the back. It's the booth we started dating in and I usually wouldn't be here, but what the hell? When we're all seated and stuff, Reno leans in. "Okay, why the puppy face?"

"I don't have a puppy face!"

"Uh-huh…" Reno nods. "So, why the sad face? Aside from the fact that Choco-Cloud hates you?"

Why does everyone call him a chocobo? Maybe it's the blond, stuck-up hair. "That is the matter. I'm… I dunno… in a funk? I guess?"

"In an emo-state, more like, yo. What are you going to do though? I mean, yay, you two are back in together and all, but now what?"

"I don't know… He was in my bed when I woke up this morning."

Cissnei puts our cheesy fries on the table with two Mountain Dews and Reno goes, "Really?"

"Yeah…"

Reno twirls a fry around in his mouth like he's having oral sex with it. "Wanna know what I make of that?"

"What?"

"I think he's closeted for you. He wants you but he's scared to say it."

I pull back. "As if! He's got this perfect girlfriend-"

"Whom he's not with anymore."

"He's homophobic."

"He wouldn't have come back if he were as homophobic as you think. I know Strife. He would have camped out on a park bench if he were that homophobic. He's stubborn. Very stubborn."

"… Okay, well…"

Reno starts laughing and I want to punch him. In the face. "Look, just talk to him a little bit more. I promise, it will not kill you."

"What the hell do I say? 'Oh hi, so I heard you were rooming with me again. Why?'"

"Basically. You know, he might be completely closeted for you and you don't even know it."

"Stop reading romance novels. Those things will rot your skull."

"I haven't been."

"Stop reading crappy fanfictions then."

Reno Cheshire-cat grins at me from the other side of the table and munches on cheesy fries while I stare out the window. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"How to draft my 'WTF Cloud!?' speech."

* * *

I have my Cloud speech drafted to this when I come to the door. I'll walk through the door, go up to him, look him straight in the eye, and…

Yeah, not the most moving speech ever drafted. Shit.

When I do walk through the door, Cloud is sitting at his desk, looking more or less distracted. "Hey… What's up?"

"Not much. Studying for my Trig test tomorrow."

"Ah… Cloud, can I talk to you?"

"Uh… Okay…"

Shit. Ever since I got out of the diner, I've had that freaking "Love Games" song stuck in my head. Been humming it ever since I got out of there. So, it's stuck.

"Are you playing those love games with me?"

"What?"

ACK! "N-Nothing. Just singing to… myself." I. Fail. At. Life.

"… Right. So what did you want to talk about?"

Good question. I'm looking a gift-Chocobo in the mouth. "I… Just wanted to know… What made you change your mind? About rooming with me?" Am I blushing? I'm blushing. Too gay for my own good, I'm blushing.

"I… Don't know. Maybe I felt guilty or something? I don't know."

"Ah…" Of course he doesn't know. I'm putting him way too on the spot. A voice inside screams, "ABORT MISSION, ZACK FAIR! ABORT!"

"S-So, ah… Studying?"

"Yeah, I've got a test Weiss' class tomorrow. He's crazy and I get the feeling he's not going to cut me any slack if I screw up in his class."

I grin. "Yep. Sounds like Weiss."

I really hope he doesn't screw with Cloud tomorrow.


	7. He Jumped Because He Was Whining

Probably, like, the second to last chapter here. Having fun with it. We had hell deciding how to work this chapter, but I think it's going to turn out well.

* * *

I show up to Trig early to go over my notes again and the usual "Be a Good Test Taker" bullshit. Truthfully, it's an excuse to get the hell out of my dorm. I don't even know why I went back. … Fuck, yes, I do. I'm… Shit… I think I want Zack Fair in the way he wants me.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

"Probably not a good thing to lose that many brain cells before a test, yo." I look up from banging my head against the desk and- bow chicka bow wow- there's Reno, looking down at me like a bug. Oh shit, Zack implied that he and Reno dated. Shit.

"Fuck off."

"Whatever, man." Weiss starts the class with a sneer, a reminder not to cheat or he'll personally chase us around the parking lot in his car, and tossing the tests around. I get mine and look down. Uhm… What? Raise my hand.

"What is it, Strife?"

"My test… This can't be right."

Weiss looks it over. "No, this is your test."

"But… Sir, it looks like it's in Greek."

"Greek letters are frequent parameters in mathematics. Do I need to send you back to Statistics?"

Frig no. Hojo is a scary psycho. "No, sir. But… There aren't even any numbers given on this test."

"Reno," Weiss summons up aforementioned redhead from his seat three rows ahead. "Is this the same test you've been given?"

Reno looks over my worksheet and looks at Weiss, _clearly_ about to say, "WTF, this isn't Trig!" when Weiss gives him this Look. It's not a nice, lusty Look like anyone would kill for from someone other than Weiss. No, this is a malice-filled, evil, "I will kill everyone you ever loved" Look.

And, of course, Reno fucking caves.

"Yeah, this is the same thing I'm looking at. Quit your bitching, yo." Weiss smirks and Reno goes back to his seat.

Note to self: Get more friends in this class.

* * *

So, after that fucking disaster (I just wrote "4" on everything), I decide that I have earned something. Normally, I would get "You've Had A Sucky Day" sex from Tifa. Yeah, not happening now. Fuck. I'm not going back to my dorm because I'll probably get "You've Had A Sucky Day" sex from Zack.

And that's how I found myself in Vincent Valentine's kitchen, passing a wine bottle around the table with him and Reeve. It is to be noted that I am a lightweight, Vincent is a veteran emo, therefore very good at holding his liquor, and Reeve is in his late thirties.

"So, he hands me the test and it's in fuckin'… I dunno… Spanish or something… Point is I had no idea what was going on. Then that fucking… Cocker-Spaniel Reno says that the test was perfect and I was bitching." I take another pull from the bottle and pass it to Reeve. "Was so not bitching."

"Sounds like you had a rough day."

"'Course I had a rough day. Doesn't help that, like, you know, I'm madly in love with my dorm-mate or whatever."

Vincent's eyebrow disappears under his headband and bangs. "You're in love with a dude? Kinda hot…"

"I donneven _know_ anymore." My head develops a pulse and push my forehead down into my palm. "My head huuuurrrts…"

I lose track of everything that happened after that, except that Cid came downstairs. Then I heard things around me, in and out, like an old radio.

_

* * *

_

"Jesus, he looks dead. Get 'im in the car."

* * *

_"Found 'im in Valentine's kitchen like this. Take care of 'im." _

_"Oh, yeah, absolutely." _

_

* * *

_

"Want you, Zack."

_"W…What? What?" _

_

* * *

_

"This gonna hurt?"

_"I'll… Uh… Yeah, probably. Want it gentle?" _

_"I'm fuckin' drunk. It'll only hurt in the morning."_

_

* * *

_

"Zack, I think I love you."

_"You're drunk, go to bed." _

_"Really, I do." _

_"… Yeah, I love you too. Sleep, okay?" _

* * *

Then light hits my eyes and sends shockwaves of pain through my eyes. And my ass hurts. Did I fall or something last night? Makes sense, falling on my ass while I'm drunk. Screw it, I just want to sleep. Nice warm bed.

"Mmmhnnn…"

I sit straight up and the sheets fall off my bare chest… onto my bare lap. Uhm… Zack's in bed with me… I'm naked. Frig… No, fuck is a much better expletive for this moment. No, fuck does not do this moment _justice_. I think I had sex with Zack Fair last night.

Confirmed when I look over and, bam, there he is, completely naked. Beautiful skin, porcealine only prettier. Fuck, no, stop being queer.

"Zack… Get up!"

"Mmnnnmmm…"

Fuck! I get my back to the wall and push him off the bed with my feet. Not a smart idea to place pressure on my ass. Feels like a fucking flagpole got shoved in there. Repeatedly, as it were. Oh, god, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Zack's near-lifeless body flops off the bed, taking about half the blankets and comforter with him. Gives me a glance at the sheets. "Oh, my God… Blood… Was there a fucking sacrifice here?!?"

"Morning…"

"Don't 'morning' me, you fucking rapist!! What the hell?!?"

"Cloud-"

"No! I came back here, I fucking _trusted_ you, and th-"

"Cloud, listen to me, you asked me!"

"I… I what now?"

Zack sighs, holding the sheets over his guy bits. Like they _weren't_ just in my ass probably less than 5 hours ago. "Some blond guy named Cid came over, holding you up. You looked like you were asleep or something. I tried to get you to sleep in your bed, but you said no. Then… Uh… You asked me to... Ya know… And… I… Well, I did it."

"No kidding, you fucking did it! Do you have _any_ idea how much pain I'm in right now!?"

"Yeah, actually. Uh…"

"I don't wanna hear it… Did you at least use a condom?"

"Of course." He looks offended. "You were the drunk one, not me. I've got some common courtesy." Common courtesy?! That's fucking rich, coming from the guy who just fucked me in the ass.

"… What else did Cid say to you?"

"Lots of things. Can I get on my bed now?"

"Fuck you. What did Cid say to you?"

"He said, and I'm paraphrasing, that you got drunk at Valentine's (I'm guessing that's a bar), and to take care of you. He also said something about you being a lightweight, puking in his car, singing Freebird out the window." Good. My secret is safe. "Oh, and he said that you masturbated while thinking about me the other day."

I choke. "Fuck…"

"So, he wasn't lying."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "No. He wasn't. I… Fuck…"

"Just say it."

"IloveyouZackFair."

"Slower?"

"I… Love… You… Zack Fair."

"Good." And then Zack touches his lips to mine. Oh God, he's got morning breath like a fucking dog! Then again, I've got cotton-mouth, so what the fuck ever. He crawls back up on the bed. "Do you… want to do it again?"

"Fucking animal, I'm in pain."

Zack smiles sheepishly. "Sorry. My bad… Do… Did you want to top then?"

"Are you serious?"

"It's just like anal with a girl, or so I'm told."

"I'd rather not."

He looks thoughtful. "I still feel like we should, ya know… Uh… What's the phrase?"

"Consummate the union? Are we even dating?"

"Are we?"

I make a mental list.

Relationship with Zack Fair pros: He's not an asshole. He's kind of sweet, in the puppy way. He's not flamboyantly gay, like Reno. His uncles will kill me if I don't.

Relationship with Zack Fair cons: He's gay.

Deciding factor: I'm in love with him.

"Can I think about it? When I don't need ibuprofen?"

"Uh… Yeah, absolutely. I'll, uhm… I'll go get you some. Just lie down… Try not to put any pressure on… it."

Then he rushes out of the room.

* * *

My phone rings after Zack goes to his first class. "Hello?"

"Cloud?"

"What Tifa?"

"Vincent told me you got drunk at his place last night. You alright?"

"Yes… Kinda… I had… Fuck, I'm not saying this."

"Who did you have sex with?"

Fucking women's intuition. "My dorm mate. The one you said was gay for me. Yeah…" Have you ever heard a woman squeal? How about a woman who _clearly_ likes the idea of men kissing? Yeah, I rest my fucking case. "…Ah…"

"How was it?"

"Uh, gee, felt like roses and sunshine dust. It hurts!"

"Oh… Well, it could be worse… I mean, you could have remembered the whole thing. Knowing you, it's just bits and pieces, right?"

"Yeah… Tifa, I think I love him."

"Does that make me your fag-hag?"

Whatever that is. "Tifa, I don't fall in love with men."

"And I didn't fall in love with blonds, but look at where you've been since high school. You're thinking with your head. Next time you see him, think about what your heart and body are telling you. You'll be better off."

"That's, like, the shittiest piece of advice I've ever gotten. Worse than when Cid advised me to jump off the roof of the science building in high school."

"You did that, though."

"That's how I know it's shitty advice."

* * *

Tifa is fucking crazy, let that be known. But she's not stupid, so I take her advice and wait.

Zack comes back into the room around 2-ish, and my spine feels like it's just melded back together. "Can we talk?"

"Uh… Sure…" He sits down. "Feeling better?"

"Much better." Fuck, how do you start an "I love you sooooo much" conversation? Jump in? Waltz around the subject? Oh, what the hell am I doing? I'm a _man_!! "I think I'm in love with you."

"I think you've already said that, kinda."

"But I'm not in pain and I'm sober. I think I actually mean it now."

He does two contradicting things. His eyes light up like freaking Christmas and he smiles. But then his face kinda drops and he looks kind of… Oh, God, does he look horny for God's sake? Fucking psycho… "So, uh… What do you want to do? I mean, like, God, I love you too, I have since we met, but…"

"Uhm…" I don't know what to do either. I mean, when I said I loved Tifa, she just tackled me into the mattress… Oh dear God, what if this is how girls feel after sex!?! Oh my God, I am apologizing later for every time I've wanted it more than once in a night.

"You're… Ah…" Zack is looking at his blood-stained sheets. "Probably not up for round two yet."

"Not even fucking close."

"Well, uh… I could just… Ya know…"

"Masturbation isn't exactly union consummating."

"Wasn't talking about that. Good thoughts, though." Zack flips me a grin and I scowl back. "We could just do it and you be on top."

I almost scream. "Are you _serious!?_ I don't even know how that _works!_"

"I'll walk you through it." He's kidding. He's gotta be kidding. "I'm kidding. You're in pain. It wouldn't be right."

"O-Okay…"

"But," he says and I freeze up. Ho shit… "I wanna be close to you tonight. Maybe we could… Sleep in the same bed, but… ya know?"

"Y-Yeah… Actually, that would be best. I… I can't sleep without you anymore." I blush at that statement. Soooo gggggaaaayyyyy…

Zack smiles.

That night, before I drop off, I feel Zack's arm snake around my waist and, for the first night in forever, I don't freak out about him feeling me up.


	8. Caramell Dansen

Ahaha, we're still in love with this fic. And thanks to scarlettHuntress for pointing out that Zack is a bad puppy for taking advantage of Cloud.

**Public Service Announcement: Don't have sex with drunk people. **

* * *

I am walking on sunshine. I am the happiest person in the world. I am, if you'll excuse the pun, on Cloud Nine. Since I have the day off today, I decide to celebrate and go play Yahtzee with Weiss and Nero. They like it, I like it.

Weiss and Nero greet me at the door and give my humungous grin a funny look. Then they look at each other. Weiss is the one to speak first. "Either you got over Cloud or you got laid."

"One of them. Cloud got drunk last night and we had sex. It was _**magic**_."

Nero gives me this kind of fleeting, scared look. "Zack… He was drunk?"

"Yep… Why?"

Weiss lets out a laugh, psycho laugh. "You took advantage of a drunk person."

Wait… Wait… Processing… Complete… "… I AM SUCH A BAD PERSON!!!"

"Ohhh…" Nero comes over to my side as Weiss keeps laughing. "Zack, it's… Well… Uhm… What happened after that?"

"He yelled at me… Then I told him what he said when he was drunk and he said that it was right what he said."

"And what was it that he said?"

"He loves me!" I burst out into gleeful giggles because, yes, finally, after at least a month of pining, Cloud Strife loves me. Nero's eyes light up and he congratulates me. Weiss just starts laughing again. My God… "What?"

"He was _drunk_. He probably loves everything when he's drunk. Hell, _I_ love everything when I'm drunk." Weiss pauses. "Any idea why he was drunk?"

"No clue."

"Probably that test I gave him."

"… Test?"

"Weiss," Nero looks sternly at him. Not an easy task, considering Nero is shorter than him. "What did you do to that boy?"

"I…" Weiss gets his "I'm in deep shit" sort of look. Makes me all the more curious. "I kind of gave him a Trig test… In Greek lettering… And numbering… It was all in Greek…"

Nero looks at him. I look at him. "Weiss… You _**what**_?!?" Dear God, I think I just felt the house shake.

"He made my nephew cry like a little girl. No one makes my nephew cry like a little girl."

"I didn't cry like a little girl."

"A preteen girl then."

"Uncle Weiss!"

Keep in mind that Nero has been silently stewing through that exchange. Finally he, gentle, kind Uncle Nero, fucking snaps and gives Weiss this Look. Not a nice look. Not a lusty look. A Look.

"I am not having sex with you for, like, a year until you go back and you fix that boy's grade and apologize to him and, in fact, for putting up with that, give him 10 bonus points on that test." Weiss pales. _I_ pale.

"Ah… But… He… Fine, okay, you win. I'll do it."

"Good," Nero purrs. I've noticed he likes getting his way. No one is blaming him. "Zack, do you have anything to say?"

"I… Kind of love you for it, because if you hadn't failed him, he wouldn't have gotten drunk… But I kind of wanna kill you for it because you made him sad and drunk."

"I'm Weiss, take it with a grain of salt."

* * *

Oh… My God… Cloud must hate me, I realize as I roll my dice in the little plastic cup. I took his virginity (butt-virginity, I'm guessing he and Tifa were active), then turned out to still be gay for him then propositioned him twice thereafter.

"I'm such an awful person."

"Just because you're winning?" Weiss frowns at the score sheet and Nero tugs a spike. Demonic bunny ears… Hehehe…

"No… Cloud…"

"No being mopey during our games." Nero rolls the dice again. Pouts.

"But he must hate me. _I_ would hate me."

"Self-loathing is unhealthy," Weiss says. "If you're all tied up as to whether or not Strife is madly in love with you, just go ask him to be more honest with you. Does he love you or is he just saying so for your sake?"

"… Yeah, okay… I'll go do that…"

"Good. Now, why don't we just put all this away…?" Weiss moves to remove the Yahtzee board.

"Oh, no. I need a confidence boost and this will sooo do it."

Nero smiles and Weiss just pouts. Never seen him pout. Looks childish on him.

* * *

"Cloud, I gotta talk to you," I say as I burst through the door. Then I inwardly cringe. My God, I sound like an action movie hero. "Cloud, the bomb's going to go off, we have to get out of here!"

Thank God that he didn't notice. Instead, he swivels away from his desk. Trig textbook, I see. "What?"

"Cloud, when you said that you loved me, did you really mean it or were you just saying it to lessen the impact of the drunken sex?"

"…What?"

I cringe again, this time on my face. Weiss and Nero know that I'm kind of beat-around-the-bush-ish when it comes to big things, but that I'm a blabbermouth when I get a lot of caffienated soda. Something about the sugar and the bubbles. Point is, this conversation is going to go like driving an SUV through a brick wall; It's going to suck going through and the SUV is gonna be mortally wounded but maybe, just maybe, it'll pull through.

"Uhm… Well, I… That is… I love you from the bottom of my little spiky heart and if you're not in this 100% then I don't want a bit of it."

Cloud just stares at me. Oh my God, his eyes are beautiful and he looks so damn confused that I just want to kiss him. No! I must be strong in my resolve to get answers from the sexy confused blond boy.

"Zack, why would I say something like that if I didn't mean it? The fact that we had drunk sex wouldn't change if I said I loved you. I said it because… Frig…" He runs a hand through his hair. "I said it because I meant it."

Somewhere, a rainbow just appeared, a baby stopped crying and someone Caramell Dansen'd for the first time. I suspect Reno for that last one. Second too, actually.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah… I… Fuck… I…"

Awkward silence. "Do you want me to say it first?"

"… Yeah."

"I love you, Cloud." I kiss him on the forehead.

Cloud puts his hands against my cheeks. Oh my God, he's touching me. Like, willingly. "I… Love you, Zack." He stands up and hugs me. "I love you."

"Love you too." I snuggle him and then he does the best thing in the world. Kisses me! Fireworks go off, a dam collapses and somewhere, Reno just started _singing_ Caramell Dansen while dancing along.

The kiss lasts for 23 seconds exactly. I counted on Cloud's alarm clock behind him. Cloud looks away, like he's shy. "So… N-Now what?"

"Whatever you want." I mean that too. He could say, "Get the fuck out of here and go sleep on a park bench," and I'd say, "Which one?"

"… I want… Oh God… I want to try the sex again."

Those fireworks I mentioned? Just got brighter. "Really?" I realize that sounds waaaay too over-eager so I try again. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I really want to try this."

I kiss him on the mouth, don't bother watching the clock and pull him onto the bed next to us. His new one, as it happens.


	9. I Love You

Dear merciful Axel on a spoon… It's the shortest chapter yet, but also the smuttiest. Enjoy, and we will be tuned to your regularly scheduled ZackCloud next week.

* * *

"Could this even be defined as christening the bed?"

Zack chuckles and eyes me, up and down. "Could be."

How the hell did he get me naked? Fuck, fuck… Well, it's not like I can do this clothed. Zack is freaking ripped though. I'd love to know what kind of summer job he had. It's not like he's gross in the muscle department. Think Adonis, think swimmer's muscle.

"Zack, have you ever done this before?" He raises a brow at me. "I mean, like, with other guys?"

"Yeah." Zack lifts the blankets and snuggles under.

"H-How many?"

"Aside from you? Two."

I should be outraged, but that's about how many girls I've had sex with. Whatever. "You're wearing a condom while we do this."

"I promise I don't have anything, Cloud."

And, the thing is that, even though my parents had always said that all gays were sick guys infested with all kinds of AIDS, I believed him. Nonetheless, "You're wearing a condom. And so am I for that matter."

"Be my guest. It's not like rubbers ruin it for me." After wrapping his, I wrap mine and join him on the bed.

Zack waits until I lay down on the bed before he kisses me again. Slow and hard and his hands are moving all over my back. It's almost like he's massaging me from the front until his hands drift onto my ass and squeeze.

"ACK! Zack!"

"You've got a nice ass, Cloud."

"Gee, thanks…"

The air gets heavier when Zack looks me in the eyes and says, "You sure you want to do this?"

I was completely honest when I said, "I've never been more sure of anything."

"How do you want this?"

"I always assumed there was just one position."

Zack looks like he's about to laugh. "Nope. There's a lot of ways to do this. Which way do you want it?"

He acts like I know the names of these sex positions. Oh, give it to me all dirty whiteboard style, I can take it. God… "The least painful way, I guess… How did we do it last night?"

"You were on your back."

"That works? Thought only girls did that."

"Nope. Want it like that again?"

I take a minute to think on it, but I say, "Yeah." Zack gets up between my legs and pulls the blankets at least over our waist. Probably smart. He reaches his hand under there and then I feel something blunt and thick poking at me. Oh sweet Jesus, that's his… That's his dick. God… "Did we have any lube last time?"

"No, I didn't have any. Do you?"

"No…" Like I expected to do this.

"Okay, these condoms are pre-lubricated, but not by much. I'll go slow, alright?" And then he puts it in.

"Ow, ow ow! Fuck! Hurts…"

Zack jolts a little, not making the pain much better, then leans down and kisses me. When he breaks away, he nuzzles his face into my neck and says, "It'll be okay, Cloud. I'm being gentle."

I feel awful for every girl who ever said, "This is my first time."

After a small eternity of what he calls "stretching" I feel something vaguely wirey brush against my ass. Pubes, which means he's all the way in. Ow… Fuck… Not comfy at all. "It's in all the way?"

"Basically."

"Then start moving."

"Sure it's not gonna hurt too bad?"

"Yes. Go!"

Zack thrusts forward and hits… something. Oh God, something. I cry out. "Zack, what the hell was that?"

"Your prostate." He murmurs against my collarbone. "Soon to be your new best friend."

"I like it. Go again." He obliges me and, oh god, it's heaven. "Mmmmnnnn…" I look at Zack for his face. His eyes are closed but he looks like he's working hard. I know that look, he's trying to hold out for me.

He started off slow and gentle, like I wanted, but now his thrusts are getting harder, faster and every little jab is hitting that beautiful place inside me. "Oh, God, Zack! Zack!"

"C-Cloud! Cloud, I love you!" Somjething firey hot, his seed, fills me up just as I come. We look at each other, trying to catch our breathes. Oh my God…

* * *

"I meant what I said back there."

"When?"

"Just before I came." He's sitting up against the wall, running those fingers of his through my hair. "That I love you."

"I love you too."

"I know. And I love hearing it."


	10. End

This is probably gonna be our last chapter, aside from a possible sequel, along with the Zack/Reno back story. Some things we wanted to clear up:

* Dirty white board style: SS came up with this in response to a thread on the Shadowbox, which said that anything could be turned into a sexual position. She started looking around her classroom and decided that, "The dirty whiteboard" sounded the best for a sex position.

* Weiss/Nero lovers: **MAD PLUGGING: **If you loved Weiss and Nero in this, check out our other serial fanfic/parody of Beauty and the Beast.

* * *

ONE MONTH LATER…

"Would you quit holding my hand while we're out here?" Cloud Strife glared daggers at his boyfriend. "Just because we're all official now doesn't mean I'm ready to display it to the public, okay?"

"Alright, alright…" Zack Fair ran a hand through his hair and sat down on a park bench, staring up at the sky. "Gawd, it's getting to winter already. Ugh…"

"Yeah." Cloud sat down next to him, dropping his bag carefully on the ground in front of him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Zack opened his mouth. "Hey… Cloud…"

"Yeah?"

"I got something to confess…"

"If you say you're really straight, I'm _going_ to kill you."

Zack smiled. "No, nothing like that. It's just… Ya remember our first time?"

Cloud looked up to the slate-grey of the sky. "Nope."

"… Our second time?"

"Why, yes, I do recall that." Cloud's tone was loaded with sarcasm.

Zack probably would have continued the joke if the topic at hand wouldn't make Cloud so angry. "Well, you made me wrap it and all, right?" Cloud nodded. "Well… It broke while it was in you."

"WHAT?!?"

Zack knotted his fingers into the hair behind his head. "I knew this would piss you off."

"Piss me off!! Zack, why don't you _tell_ me these things!?"

"I just told you. Besides, you dragged me right down to the clinic the next day. And a week later. And just last week, actually. You realize we're backing up their mail system."

Cloud narrowed his eyes. "AIDS latency periods have been known to be years on end. Just because we're not covered in scabs or sick or whatever…"

"You're aware they don't look all that different? Just sicker? Besides, the tests came back negative. You're safe." There was another pin-drop-worthy silence. "You still don't trust me, do you?"

"I trust you. I just don't trust your other boyfriends."

"Reno and Genesis?"

"I don't even know Genesis and Reno's a sleaze."

"Is not."

"Is so."

"Is not."

"Is so."

"Settle down, kids." Reno dropped an arm between them. "What are we even talking about?"

Cloud and Zack looked at each other. "Nothing."

* * *

"If that test in the mail is positive, I'm not going to let the disease kill you, I swear to God."

Zack opened the letter with a pushpin. "You're so romantic, Cloud," he said flatly. "Really, you spoil me."

"No, really, I'll kill you myself."

Zack's now very trained eyes scanned the paper. "Then put away your knives. You are, for the third time, HIV and AIDS negative."

"Good." For the first time that day, Cloud finally seemed to relax and collapsed onto their couch. "What's for dinner?"

Zack looked at him. "Have some ADD… Uhm…" He bent down to examine the contents of their refrigerator. "Spoiled lettuce?"

"Ew…"

"Sour cream?"

"Ick…"

"Mustard?"

"Gawd, just say we don't have anything."

"We don't have anything," Zack chirped before flopping onto Cloud and calling in for Chinese. The people knew who it was the second he said hello, knew precisely what he wanted and where it was delivered to. Consequently, Zack knew the exact price.

"Usual time?"

"Yep. We've got twenty minutes." Zack rubbed his nose against Cloud's. "Just enough time to get all sweaty and intimate."

"No." Zack pouted. "I just want to cuddle, okay?"

"You're such a girl, Cloud. I love you."

"I'm a girl." Cloud sat up, outraged, and flipped Zack under him. "Who's the girl now?"

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Cloud shut his mouth with a kiss and stayed quite fused to him until the delivery girl showed up with their food.

_**END**_


End file.
